Let's talk about something that is often overlooked, something that is often ignored, something that is often shunned.
But... this thing I am talking about is something that runs throughout our culture, so deeply, right in our face that most of us miss it. By most I would guess 9,999 out of 10,000 - totally miss it, miss the impact of it and try and find 'solutions' else where.
In high doses what I am talking about effects:
- immune system
- brain development
- hormonal systems
People who are exposed to it have:
- triple the risk of heart disease as well as lung cancer
- and a 20 year difference (shortened) life expectancy
And guess what?
Hardly anyone knows about it...
So what is it?
This doesn't have to be big events like abuse (yes it can be for sure) but it can even be smaller events where we didn't get enough touch, or love, or didn't feel safe in our environments growing up. Or maybe our environment simply didn't meet our needs emotionally. What are emotions? Energy in motion.
Next time you're around a baby just watch, just listen and observe the natural waves of energy/emotion running through their bodies.
Then look at an adult and watch carefully the rhythms and waves that run through that adult. You will probably notice a HUGE difference. As we age, we literally shut down the pulse of life within us. Don't take my word for it, look and observe for yourself.
As kids we are innocent, pure, wide eyes and open. Like sponges we enter the world and we simply soak up whatever is around us. And unfortunately what is around us (for most of us) isn't pure unconditional love, acceptance and compassion.
It's very often, fear, drug abuse, emotional manipulation, unacceptance and many other things. Or maybe simply we have parents who haven't done the necessary work/transformation themselves to release their 'baggage', their negative thought patterns so we inherit them. What a gift ;)
And this is how our nervous systems get tuned, we get tuned to the frequency of fear, fearful thoughts, emotions, imaginations. Our bodies learn to brace for impact, hold on and tighten. We tense our necks, our backs, our jaws and we go into survival.
Our fight or flight response is activated and doesn't want to let its guard down so it remains on. For years, for 10's of years and then it becomes the normal. Our awareness remains outside of ourselves, looking for danger, wondering what people are thinking, saying, feeling about us. We don't like that. On a deep celular level, we don't feel safe, so we continue to hold on. Hold on for life.
By holding on we constrict life, we cut ourselves off from the flow, from the river of abundance, vitality, love and beauty. We cut ourselves off from receiving. We tell ourselves it's not ok to feel, it's not ok to express our truth, it's not ok to show our passion, it's not ok to live. We think think think think, what's next, how do I survive, our do I become more successful.
This is a painful path that many of us have chosen...or it was chosen for us.
Now we have a conscious choice of whether we want to continue on this path or whether we want to go through into ourselves, into our nervous system, into our patterns of holding and constriction and bring light to these areas, these spots of darkness, this unconsciousness.
Allow the body to relax, to find new patterns, to find a new software that is in flow with life, in flow with love, connection, joy and abundance and watch the breath come in. Watch life expand within us and watch vitality become second nature.
What is dis-ease, well it's exactly that, we are not at EASE. Why are we not at ease?
Well the biggest piece of the puzzle that everyone has missed is Developmental Trauma. Our bodies are not at ease become of the memory, the subtle situations that occurred growing up, so the body is tight, tense and wound up.
Feel your neck right now, feel your lower back, your shoulders, your eyes, your head, see if there is tension, tightness, witness your flexibility, your fluidity within your body. Trauma is physiological potentially even more than psychological. It's stored in the body.
There are 5 pillars to a healthy connection with life. They are listed below and you can see if you are flowing WITH life or AGAINST life.
5 Healthy Foundations
Connection: we feel that we belong in the world. We are in touch with our bodies and our emotions and capable of consistent connection with others. We are aware of our emotional waves throughout the day.
Attunement: our ability to know what we need and to recognize, reach out for, and take in the abundance that life offers.
Trust: we have an inherent trust in ourselves and others. We feel safe enough to allow a healthy interdependence with others.
Autonomy: we are able to say no and set limits with others. We speak our mind without guilt or fear.
Love-Sexuality: Our heart is open and we are able to integrate a loving relationship with a vital sexuality. We feel that are desires are welcomed within our body and we are not afraid to feel them. An wholesome integration/blending of sexuality and love.
Now if you are noticing that some of these feel foreign to you, this 'may' suggest that some developmental trauma has occurred. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, it actually often holds a lot of wisdom and transformation within it, if we allow the beauty of it to be felt, integrated, expressed and transformed, miracles can occur, the sparkle in our eyes returns.
If you realise that one or more of these (5 healthy foundations) are definitely not present within your life it will often mean that you compensate with patterns of survival in order to do just that...survive. Protect and withdraw.
Now we get to a choice,...one of survival or one of thriving/aliveness and passion. It's really a personal choice, but the only way to freedom is through... through what you might ask.
Through the emotions, through the trauma, through the body, through the sensations, through the karma. It reminds me of the red pill vs blue pill from the movie - The Matrix. It's really our choice...
The journey isn't easy, it's not a quick fix, it really is a journey. A journey of reconnection to life, to awakening, to the truth of who we really are.
That sounds like my type of journey!
I'll take the red pill please.